sinking

i gave up.
i surrendered.

those things that put me into such a state that i hated.

just like that i gave them up. because i was so tired. i was trying to change things so much but it was not the usual circumstance i was dealing with and i couldn't carry such heavy burden anymore. suddenly i've become so weak.

i was so down. i saw it coming but i convinced myself that i was gonna make it.

i was gonna make it.

but - for once i couldn't. i fell apart.

and it hit me. something burnt inside me out of my fall. out of my failure. frustration. and anger. i shouldn't tolerate. i shouldn't.

i was always in control of myself, i knew what i want and what i'd do but putting too much faith in trust, in miracle, in people - is a BIG BIG MISTAKE.

and that was my greatest downfall, when i let others took control of me.

AND I HATE THAT.

i should've known that there's no such thing as TOLERANCE in business.