Happyness of holiday.

it's holiday. i get to sleep. n rest.n laze away. n indulge happily in suju.hehe.isn't it great?

teuk's been working out! he has abs n muscles!i'm so happy!lol. i always wish he would have muscles like jaejoong's.lol.jaejoong's muscles are d best.

but at least, teuk's not d skinny boney teuk anymore.i was so afraid bcuz he seemed so fragile.but now, seeing those muscles, i'm glad dat he's healthy. but he always get himself injured.

get well soon n pls be more careful, teuk oppa.

i'm happy as hell cuz of him! PJS, u're my chunsa!

Weekend : Sick or School

Weekend again. But it never feels like weekend anymore. if i'm lucky, i'll have two days off, but lately, i've been unlucky. i usually have Sunday for myself. But Saturday, sometimes, there is school.

This semester, even during the days off, i couldn't really enjoy it. Because of all the weekends i have so far, 80% of it, was spent being sick! i get sick a lot lately. too much for a normal person. is it making up for all the past years i've been healthy and strong?i dun know.

I HATE BEING SICK.

lately the two major sickness would be either the allergy or the stomach ache. The allergy is bad. and the stomachache is terrible. today, i'm sick, again, with stomach ache.

I HATE THIS STOMACH ACHE!

My premonition tells me that SHE IS GOING TO FAIL ME!! i've seen all the signs~ can't she make my life better? too many bad luck this semester! i'd rather die than fail my practicum n do it again next semester.i ahte my life. why is it so bad? TT.TT

Emo Nae VS Emo Teuk

i've become like Teuk, so emo! lol. i guess, dat's a similarity we both share..

Jungsoo, have u been emo lately? lol. i've been quite emo lately. the other day, jungsoo changed his cyworld layout(hopefully it was jungsoo) and guess what? it's d same as the phone theme i downloaded weeks before!

OMG! is this fate?ahahaha.maybe it was just a coincidence! but dat makes me so happy i smiled like an idiot! it's d 'say you love me' pink layout!kekeke..

i'm back to LOVING JUNGSOO MODE again.hehe.

hyukjae is still the best sweetheart ever! cuz he was so damn adorable and he was such a sweetheart at genting!lol. i love you hyukjae! pls dun ever change that down-to-earth attitude!

today it feels better, i'm starting to accept and forgive the bitterness in Genting. I'm back to LOVING SUJU again. and LOVING JUNGSOO. I am ELF, oppa, so i will continue to support and protect you! Super Junior Hwaiting!!!

i will definitely go to SUPER SHOW KL!! next time, i'll welcome them at KLIA.

today, i got school. well, everyday, i have school. i mean, today's morning, i went for mini sukan..it was fun. ok, well, the school isn't that bad. it's just me, being all emo. actually once i was at school, it was actually fine.

still, i can't wait for practicum to be over, because practicum is so tiring.

my life is bitter.

it feels lonely. now that suju broke my heart, i feel even more lonely. i'm alone in this house. there's a lot of people, but then, i'm alone.

everyday, waking up to school. it feels lonely and empty. i dun enjoy teaching. i dun enjoy going to school. i dun enjoy my life.

i want to go back. and forget about the bitterness of these past months. and forget about super junior that i met in Genting.

i want to sleep as much as i can, and spend time with my family at home. and just see those little kids playing. i miss them. i'll buy them chocolates when i get back later. and i'll watch tv and play with them too.ahhh~~i miss them so much.

and find time to relax and write fanfic of suju.*i won't give up yet being a fan!* and read yaoi manga. i miss reading yaoi manga.

at least hyukjae is still adorable. hyukjae-ya ^_^

i need to stop here.nite.

Shattered impression

I liked Super Junior. No. I loved them. i loved them so much that i took every chance i had just to be able to be a step closer to them.

and then came the day.

august 2, 2008.

it was d day that i hoped for once i would get to see the boys.

it was d day that i hoped i would see eeteuk.

it was d day that i hoped i would see them as how they were on tv, on radio, on shows.

and it was dat day, everything shattered.

what had gone wrong? was it me? was it us malaysian fans? or was it them?

i waited in d cold for two hours minus another hour i spent running here and there just to see them. and only 3 hours later i got to see them.

3 hours wouldn't matter so much to me.

i would wait for another hour or hours more if i had to, just as long as i get to see them.

and then they showed up.

but what did we, fans get for waiting hours in d cold??

except for hyuk and siwon who smiled and waved at us, others didn't even bother to look at us.

i am quite dissappointed with eeteuk.

he was d first to come out. and he went straight into the car. he only looked at ELFs when he was in d car.

but at least he smiled.

and then heenim, he only stared. couldn't he at least smiled or smirked, like he always did to ELFs??

i dun know about the others. but seriously, i dun remember others waving and smiling except d two.

except for hyuk n siwon, my impression of other members were shattered. n d magnae line too. is that how they really are in real-life? do they really appreciate fans? idk.

i dunno what to believe anymore. oppa, was it dat hard to just smile?

but still, i'm a fan. am i stupid? whatever.

MY FIRST ENCOUNTER WITH SUJU!

Me and my fren, Dba arrived at about 1 pm at Genting..

at first we waited at d exit of Arena of Stars..
but we were told they had finished rehearsal..
and gone back to the hotel..
and then we saw Jared Leto coming out!
he's so handsome!!!

so we went back to the hotel..
me and my friend and fellow ELFs waited outside the hotel.
a group of ELFs are putting up blue balloons.
i met fellow ELFs there and we talked
and some of d ELFs were from hongkong,netherlands etc.

i was standing right in d center, directly facing the Hotel's entrance.
But it got more crowded and i moved towards the right side and joined with aisyah and raihan..
diba stayed at d center to take videos..

we waited and at about 4pm, more securities were guarding the entrance of d hotel
and vans and mercedes,and all the big cars started arriving at d hotel.

we waited for SUPER JUNIOR..
and then we saw some artists coming out,
we strained our neck to see, hoping that it will be SUPER JUNIOR but it's not.
It's Pussycat Dolls.But we screamed anyway and they waved at us.

and then after a while, we saw the stylist noona of SUJU!!
and we screamed!!! well, idk if they're d stylist noona,
but they brought the don't don outfits
and waited in front of the hotel for the van.

and not long after that, SUJU CAME OUT!!!
and everybody screamed!!!

as i expected, EETEUK was d first to come out!!!

i felt like my brain stopped functioning when i saw him.
for a while i felt like is this real?really?!
AND YES!! HE'S REAL!!! and OMFG!!!
he looks so so so PRETTY and HANDSOME!!!and REAL!!!
he looks both PRETTY and MANLY and idk, what's d word????

lol! HE'S PERFECT!!!!!

he entered the first car.

and then i saw HYUKJAE behind him!
he stopped and looked at ELFs and waved at us!!!
*gyaaaa!!!omg,i was so nervous when he smiled!*
HYUKJAE is SO SO SO GORGEOUS TOO!!

i was like what the heck??
he looks even more GORGEOUS and HOTTER in REAL-LIFE!

and then i saw someone next to hyukjae and i looked..
could dat be yesung? and yes, it was YESUNG!
but he looked kinda different! i didn't recognize him!lol.
maybe it's because of his short hair?

just when i started to recognize him, he got inside the car.
so i didn't really get a good look of him.

and then i shifted my eyes to the second car and i saw KANGIN was standing,
trying to focus on getting in the car.
he looks bigger than in pictures. well, a bit chubby but still, HE'S HANDSOME!!
gyaa!!! i wish i could look at him longer but he got inside the car after that.

and right behind him was SIWON!!!!ahhh~~*screams*

ok, frankly, siwon is not my fav. as in soo not my fav.
but he totally makes me fall in love with his charm at Genting!!!!
HE'S TALL AND SOOOO HANDSOME!!! as in DROP DEAD HANDSOME!
i don't know if it's just me but taht's what i thought when i saw him.
and my head kept chanting OMG HE'S SO HANDSOME, HE'S SO HANDSOME, HE'S SO HANDSOME!!

he was standing behind kangin.

unlike others, he didn't enter the car straight away, instead,
he stood and looked at ELFs and smiled and waved at us!!!
*i was totally melting and i felt my face got so hot
(for a while, i didn't feel d coolness in Genting!)

OMG!!!!he's so totally charming!!!
i was totally stunned by his charm!

and then after he waved, i looked at the first car again,
and EETEUK was sitting by the window,
and he was looking at ELFs with a smile on his face. *melts*

and then i looked at the 2nd car and OMG!!!!!!

HEENIM!!!!

How could i forget about him?
he was sitting by the window in the 2nd car.
he had his hair tied up and OMG! OMG! OMG!!!
HE'S SOOOOOOOOO PRETTY!!
I SWEAR HE'S THE PRETTIEST GUY I'VE EVER SEEN!!!

HE'S SOOOOOOOOO DAMN PRETTY that my jaw dropped
and i was like damn! his skin is like porcelain!

he, too was looking at ELFs.
his eyes were so big and they looked even bigger when he looked at the elfs.
he didn't smile or wave, he just looked/stared at ELFS.

and then i shifted back to the 1st car and Eeteuk was still smiling. hehe..
and i then i spotted MING in d 1st car too. but i couldn't see him clearly..

and after everyone got in, d vans drove to d red carpet..

i didn't get to see Kyu, Ryeo, Hae, and Donghee
because everyone just walked straight inside the car,
and since there were too many of them, i didn't know who should i look at..lol.

but according to my friends, DONGHEE is VERY HANDSOME!
and he doesn't look as big as in the picture.
and one of my fren saw KYU and she said that he's SOOOO WHITE!!!

he was outside the car the longest because he didn't know which car to get in,
so he was like going back and forth between the 1st, 2nd and 3rd car..hahaha*sooo cute!*

BUT OVERALL, WHAT I CAN SAY ABOUT THEM IS, THEY ARE LIKE REAL-LIFE DOLLS!!
THEY'RE JUST TOO GORGEOUS AND THEY LOOK SOOO MUCH HANDSOME/PRETTIER IN REAL-LIFE
AND OH, DID I MENTION THEY LOOKED SOOOO WHITE??
*my fren even said they're like snow whites*

ok, well. that's all.. i;m happy i get to see them finally in real-life,
but i was kinda disappointed that they got in d car too fast,
and we didn't really get to see them well..
and i kinda wished some of them would looked at us and waved..
but never mind, maybe they were rushing..

NOTE:
at d hotel, fans were all behind the silver fence and there were guards everywhere
and the distance between d fence and SUJU was like 100 meter?
so, there's no grabbing/touching thingy happened when they came out to go to the red carpet.

Will my fate be with suju?

today..just few hours away, i'll be going to Genting.

i didn't get tickets for MTV ASIA AWARDS, but anyway, i'm going there to see super junior.

hopefully i'll get to catch a glimpse of them..i just want to see how they look in real-life. from the fancam and pictures of them in malaysia, they seemed more humane.. as in more real to me and thus i'm curious.

i really hope that i could see them. just a glimpse at least. if i could just see them , i'll be so happy already..

but hopefully, well, i wish i could get near eeteuk and greet him with my broken korean. hehe. just wanna see how it's like.

lol.k, need to sleep.

God, please let me meet them later.pls.

my practicum anecdote

practicum is tiring.

n i gave up crying because it's tiring too.

nothing surprises me anymore.

i've seen all kinds of students.

those who are really nice.

those who hate me.

those who are obedient.

those who talked back at me.

those who fight before my eyes.

those who have no respect at all.

those who purposely challenge me.

those who can actually be changed.

those who hit my face and apologized.

they fight everyday.
they beat each other all the time.
boys and girls alike.
they play with pieces of woods and sharp objects.

even if they hate me.
or give me death glares all the time.
i couldn't care less.

it would be over anyway one day.
even if it's not going to be soon.
but it will be over.

and i will leave them.

till then, just go through with it.

in a way, it's good. i become a stronger person.but with less humanity .